November at The Rhynd

Jan 15
4 min read

FAREWELL ERNEST, AMY AND LINDSEY

The Tamworth pigs we had on the farm this year and last were bought as weaners specifically to fatten up and use in the café and on our forest feasts and supper clubs.

However, when you only have five at any one time, it’s easy to get attached to them. They are smelly (especially when eating when they fart non-stop), their manners would make my late grandmother blush, and they love mud. But there’s still something endearing about them. Naming them didn’t help, of course. They love a scratch and watching them at full speed (about 3mph) coming at you for food is wonderful. As they put on weight, their competition distances shorten considerably. One day I returned home to find one of them repeatedly throwing a plastic bag into the air while two others ran round it in ever-decreasing circles. Every morning there’s a fight to get from the gate to the trough, and we’ve had plenty of other problems.

One got attacked by a dog walker’s dog and lost her tail and most of her ear. Amazingly, Ernest Hammingway (we ran out of female pig puns) made a full recovery. They also chewed young trees, they demolished any form of electric fence I put up and they then wouldn’t load onto the trailer to get them to Whishaw abattoir. The format each year is to park the car and trailer in the field, and then feed them in the trailer the day before so they get used to it. The complication this year was the fact that we also have two Mangalitsas, which aren’t going anywhere for another six months. The Mangalitsas marched into the trailer as if they’d been waiting for it for weeks. The Tamworths were too busy playing with a block of wood they had dug up the day before. It’s extraordinary what keeps appearing out of the mud in the field. Why was there an entire window buried in the ground? The Mangalitsas then decided my Land Rover tyres were delicious.

Long story short – I got them loaded and took them to a local farm earlier this week where they get put onto a lorry and taken to Wishaw. Ernest, Amy Swinehouse and Lindsey Loham thankfully loaded pretty well, saving me the embarrassment of calling their names in front of proper livestock farmers. I also had all the relevant paperwork this year. Last year – my first – was a disaster on that front.

“Can I have your ScotEID pig-movement document?”

“My what?”

The pigs will then head to Balgove butchery before coming back to the Rhynd. There’s still work to do then, as head chef Jack will smoke various bits and pieces before the meat is ready to cook and eat.

Usually, commercial pigs live for about six months. We've tried to slowly rear our Tamworths for double that which means they have a better life and taste better.

Commercially, it doesn’t make much sense and last year I worked out that, considering the cost of vets, petrol to pick them up, the pig nuts, the abattoir and butchery costs, each Tamworth cost me £520.60 to get into the kitchen. That price doesn’t include any of my time. If it did, we’d need to add 10,000 hours of feeding to that number. To be fair, we could save considerably on food as the pig nuts I buy seem to cost the same as filet steak.

The Tamworths weighed roughly 80kg by the end, which translates to roughly 50kg of useable meat. A prime cut, like a 2kg shoulder, might go for £20, but there are only so many prime cuts. You can buy a whole butchered pig online from some terribly smart websites that sell all types of meat, pak choi smoothies, gold leaf granolas and Lamborghinis, but even they get embarrassed asking for more than £350. I am no mathematician, but we aren’t going to be retiring any time soon. Unless it’s to the bank for a loan to buy more pigs.

“But why do you want more pigs if you just lose money on them?”

“Have you ever seen them playing with a plastic bag?”

ST ANDREWS CHALLENGE

It was fantastic to host the St Andrews Challenge clay shoot again earlier this month. A huge congratulations to the team here who worked on it before, during and after. It’s a busy day, with 200 students from different universities across the UK. We get through about 15,000 clays and, thanks to the sun rising at 12pm and setting and 12.01pm at this time of year, it’s a challenge to get everyone through the different stands. We made it, though, and we emerged at the end of the day having had very few problems with any of the traps. Well done to everyone involved. And indeed, the students, some of whom turned up in wellies rather than high heels this year.

To read previous newsletters, please head to https://www.therhynd.com/blog.

DECEMBER CALENDAR

5-7 December

Café open as normal

Please book a table

5-7 December

Clay Shooting open as normal

Please book a slot

12-14 December

Café open as normal

Please book a table

12-14 December